This Star
by Sorceress Blade
Summary: woohoo, ooc! takes place after war.
1.

This Star

Sorceress Blade 

Rinoa Heartilly's polished black hair skimmed across the seat of the toilet. She coughed twice and leaned back against the tiled wall. Well, you did it again, she thought. 

The sweet, loving, and almost stupid Rinoa had retired. Now her nights consisted of going out to a club, getting drunk or stoned, or both, and driving back to her Balamb home. As soon as she had reached home, she went straight to the bathroom and the hangover begun. It never lasted long enough to keep her from doing it again though. 

Rinoa banged her head against the wall. She did this for a while, thinking maybe it would knock some sense into her nineteen year old head. Coughing, she stood up and dragged herself into her bedroom. She fell onto the bed and fell asleep as soon as her head touched the pillow. 

Rinoa awoke to the sound of the phone ringing. She reached over and slapped a snow-white hand on the phone. 

"Who are you, and what do you want NOW?" 

"Rnoonan?"

"Speak LOUDER DAMMIT, I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

"Rinoa? This is Squall. I'm arranging a meeting with you and Aurora."

"Who?"

Squall sighed though the phone and said, "Rinoa, our daughter."

"It's too early in the morning for this Squall."

"It's noon."

Rinoa leaned over and looked at her clock, shook her head, and responded with, "So it is."

"Are you drunk?"

"I was."

"Rinoa, this is why all of this happened."

"All of what?"

"You acting so immaturely. Now I know your father didn't raise you like this, and I sure as HELL know that your mother didn-"

"Squall, what did you want?"

"Rinoa, Aurora's three and still has yet to see her mother. At all. All she has of you are pieces of paper with imprints of the past on them."

"Not true! I saw her when she was eight months."

"Rinoa, she needs to see her mother."

"No she doesn't."

"Squall, I am on the verge of twenty nervous breakdowns, all at once!"

"What? Are you stoned?"

"No, I'm trying to explain myself. I do not want my daughter to see me like this, I don't want you to see me like this. I'm pretty damn sure I've fucked up both of your lives enough for one lifetime."

"Rinoa-"

"Squall," Rinoa cut in, "If there is one person I know who can raise my little girl to be perfect in every single way, it's you."

"Really, Rinoa?"

"Really. Now shut up, and let me get some sleep for christ's sake."

She hung up triumphantly, and never heard from either of them again for thirteen years.

THIRTEEN YEARS LATER

And so almost ended the dramatic monologue of my life. I was nineteen, I liked tripping on acid every night, and I had a part time job at the Balamb Restaurant. I stopped those habits, well, I still really haven't. I don't do much anymore though, I just stay at home, and think about what could have been. Stupid me, thinking I might just be able to raise a child at seventeen. SEVENTEEN. 

Maybe if I had tried a little harder I would've kept up with my friends too. I lost contact with them after I left Garden, and so did Squall. 

Yes, we did go our separate ways, and he got my daughter Aurora. He claimed that I would bring the girl up wrong if she was living with me, as I did go out every night and get stoned or something stupid. He went to Timber, my old home. 

Selphie and Irvine married, I got invited to their wedding and didn't go. I was too busy, or something like that. Now they have a kid or two, I don't keep up with that anymore. One of them has my name for a middle name. I don't know why the hell they wanted to do that. Maybe they just liked the name Rinoa. 

Quistis stopped instructing after a while, a dropout, like myself. We had some good times after she moved to Balamb and shared an apartment with me. We imported some angel dust, that was our big thing. For a while, Quistis wasn't motherly or anything. She was my best friend, and we kept in touch after she moved out. She went after Seifer for a while, but nothing ever happened between them. Last time I heard from her, she was in Deling, she was offered the job of managing the hotel, and then was offered to go to Esthar and be Laguna's secretary. She accepted, and resided in Deling, only leaving when she needed to. She always used to say she wanted to move into my old house in Deling, and she did after my dad died. I got the house in his will, and gave it to Quisty. That nickname still hasn't outgrown her. 

Seifer, I don't even want to start on. 

Fujin and Rajin left him a while ago. 

Zell and the library girl are married and have two kids, a boy and a girl. Whenever they're in Balamb they offer a lot of hospitality and try to keep in touch out of the goodness of their hearts. God bless them. Why call her the library girl? Well, her real name is Kari but I think 'library girl' is kind of cute. 

Edea and Cid also offered much hospitality, but never do anymore. Garden is their main concern, and things are still running nicely thanks to them, and Squall's generous donations. 

Balamb has expanded in size. We've built some of our city over the sea that separates us from Galbadia. That's mostly the clubs and restaurants. The other expansion was over the sea that separates us from Trabia. That would be the more residential area. For shopping we'll head over to Dollet, or Esthar if we're desperate for something rare. 

The main reason I'm looking back now is because of the invitation I've received. 

Dear Miss Rinoa Heartilly – 

_You are invited to a reunion of family. Please, only the Heartillys. No boyfriends or anyone who has not been associated with our family before. _

_It will be held at the Balamb Hotel. _

_We hope to see you there. _

It wasn't signed. 

I can count on one thing. Squall won't be there. It's not that I'm trying to avoid any of my friends; it's just that if there were two people in the world I never want to see again, they're Seifer and Squall. 

I do want to see Aurora though, and it hasn't seemed possible until now. 

She would be sixteen now. Old enough to understand what had gone on when I was only a year older than her. I'm thirty-two, and already starting to feel old. It seems too late to do anything else with my life. Too old to get married, too old to get a worthwhile job, too old to even stay beautiful anymore. Well, that wasn't true. I keep my hair perfect, dye it black every month, keep the cute little brown streaks, make sure my skin is spotlessly white, my teeth the same, and stay skinny as always. It seems to be the only thing I can keep up that most women can't as they age. At least I can look at it in an optimistic way. I have no husband to drag around everywhere and drive me miserable, no kids to pester me constantly and tell me how much they hate me, only to tell me how much they love me when they want something, and no job to rush out to every morning. It's not like I live on the streets in a cardboard box, and I'm not poor either. I live a few blocks down from the Balamb hotel, and I waitress at different restaurants when I need some fast cash. Usually I just help out at the hotel behind the desk, and they pay me a lot to do nothing. Nothing but sit there and look pretty. Doesn't sound like a job to me. I call it fun. 

That's right, kiddies, work can be fun! I just sit in this life size aquarium and am my pretty self all day long. They provide the entertainment. Sometimes they shove another girl named Andrea in there with me when they're having parties and we chat about the good old days. I don't tell her the bad stuff, she's young and happy and just out there for the good times. She's just a bit younger than me, maybe twenty-eight, but we can still relate. 

However, this event was not going to be for work. I'll be damned if any of my rich, snotty family sees me in a fish tank.   

Seeing as they are so rich and snotty, and I should look the part, this calls for a trip to the Balamb mall. 

It's very anticlimactic when you're going to the mall and you don't know what you're going to buy. I know I want a dress of some kind, and it has to be rather expensive (or just expensive looking). I haven't kept in touch with any of my family either, and I really don't want anyone looking down upon me. 

The Balamb mall has nothing. At least, no stores I would shop in for a nice, decent dress. Stupid teen stores, promoting prostitution. Okay, so they're not, but they look like they are. I didn't wear any of those slutty clothes when I was a teenager. Oh crap, now I really sound like I'm thirty something. Someone please just shoot me now. 

The mall is a lost cause. I'm just going to go home and show up at the reunion wearing normal clothes and I'll surprise everyone. The Heartilly family is supposed to be proper and well brought up. I'll show everyone that I am no longer a little princess. 

Yeah, that will be fun. 

Of course I have to find the dress, they'll shoot me if I walk in wearing a blue sweater. Oh, and if I see my Aurora, I can tell her that I am her mother and this is the dress I was wearing when I met your father for the first time. 

It feels weird saying 'my Aurora'. I didn't raise her, so it doesn't feel as if she's mine exactly. 

It feels as if she's Squall's and only Squall's. 

It was my fault I never took the opportunity to see her when she was three. Maybe seeing my little girl would've turned my life around in some way, and I would come to my senses. Maybe I would've run back to Squall, ashamed that I thrust this responsibility on him. He gave up everything he loved for my little girl, and I didn't even say so much as thank you. 

Never even married. 

I shouldn't be dwelling on what could've been, but it seems hard not to. That dress is lying in front of me, it's pure cream color sprawled across the bed, just waiting for me to break down and cry as I recall that first dance. In fact, it was our only dance. I won't cry. 

I never cry. 

This reunion is sucking. Period. I'm standing around by the table, waiting for the festivities to begin, in a little cream dress. I know no one. 

By 'festivities' I mean everyone is going to wander around, looking for people they recognize slightly and trying to start up a conversation with them. 

I am not. 

I have my first martini in my hand and I am silently standing around, watching my relatives dance to some crappy DJ and look up through the skylight at the stars. I have two choices. I can either A) Go get that cute waiter to dance with me or B) Continue to stand around and look up at the sky. 

I chose B. I remember what happened last time. 

The family is all talking about how pretty the stars look tonight and 'why didn't we have this outside under this beautiful sky? That would've been just lovely! Just LOVELY!' 

I can't stand rich people, even if they are family.

Looking up at the sky. Yeah, it's pretty. It's pretty if you like to look up at bad memories. I don't like the stars anymore; they led to a lot of problems. I find it hard to like anything that reminds me of Squall. 

Oh, a shooting star. You see those all the time now. It's pretty, even to me. It's just not cool when the latter of them are at five in the morning and you have to go sit on your roof and try and see the show through the morning fog. It's a clear night, though. It'll be a clear morning. 

They're green, shooting stars. It's hard to tell them from air traffic, but when they seem to crash land, you know that they're stars. They're stars that didn't make it through another night. 

There she is. 

She just walked in, wearing a red dress, long ribbon in her long black hair. The dress looks expensive, and makes me wonder where he works now to pay for her. Her skin is whiter than mine, she lightly touched whatever she needed, as if it was about to fall out of her hand any second. Her cheeks are the color of the punch she's carrying as she stands against the wall. She has long slender legs, her dress skimming just to where her knees bend. Her hair beats against her back when she moves. The one thing that separates her from the rest of us Heartillys is that she is unusually calm. 

I wouldn't have known who she is. She looks like everyone else in the room. We're all photocopies of each other.   
I could only tell by looking through her blank, transparent blue eyes as she glanced cautiously around the room. 

I'm almost afraid to walk over to her, her translucent eyes forever in my mind. This is my daughter. She's beautiful. 

I'm twirling my diamond ring around my finger, out of nervous habit. I swore to myself I would never wear it again, but tonight while I was getting ready, it caught my eye and I knew I should. She's hard to get to; I have to cross the dance floor where everyone is making fools of themselves, trying to dance to some waltz. As I cross I'm getting the usual 'Oh HIIIIIIIIII Rinoa! How are you doing?' and I don't respond. I don't know any of these people. Family is supposed to pull you up when things get rough, and no one here did anything for me. Even those aunts who lived in Dollet, now connected by bridge to Balamb. No one even bothered to come visit, ask if anything was alright. The only place I knew these people from, were clubs. These people have seen me drinking like no one else they knew. They knew something was wrong, but they stayed off to the sidelines and waited, thinking it would pass. 

What if it didn't, though? What if I died? I sure as hell could've with all the shit I was doing at once. No one cared. These people have seen me get drunk and stoned. They've seen me shoot heroin and take E, where I definitely could've passed out or gone into a coma right there at those bars. Some have even seen me shoot caffeine. The only thing they haven't seen is someone pulling me out. I'm sure they figured someone else would do it, but that's what they all figured so no one even wanted to try to help me. Maybe they thought someone beat them to it, and I didn't listen. Maybe they thought I was stupid, young, and stubborn. I would fall out of the phase on my own. Though I think the reason is that they were so self-absorbed, they barely even noticed. 

Which is why no one in this room is in any way, shape, or form my family. 

Except for my little girl. 

I've finally made my way across the room, and I have started to talk to her. 

"Hi," I said. Damn, think of something else Rinoa! She's your daughter! You haven't seen her for practically sixteen years!

"Oh, hello," she said, as I thought she would. She sounds every bit as proper as she looks. Squall did bring her up well. 

"I know you probably don't know me but-"

"I have something that belongs to you,"

Well that was surprising. Who knew? 

She's pulling a long silver chain out of her purse, which has two rings clanging against each other at the end. 

My necklace.


	2. part 1

Part I

August and Everything After

Rinoa was young, and she was in love. She had fallen head over heels for the most unlikely man in the world. Yes, Rinoa (like many other girls) was persistent in getting to the quietest, most uncaring person she knew and had succeeded. She had fallen for Squall Leonheart the first time she saw him, his blue eyes enchanting her. His personality, well, it needed a little work. It was nothing Rinoa Heartilly couldn't fix. While she had fallen for him, Squall had found her almost annoying. She was beautiful though, and she was so much more than he had thought. He finally took the time to notice her when she had fallen into a coma. 

He had never expected to fall in love with her.  

Now that the sorceress war was over, and his dear Rinoa was back to normal, they were the most famous couple in Balamb Garden, the sorceress and her knight. 

How incredibly touching. It makes me want to puke. 

This is where we leave off, my dear friends, and stay with me. 

It gets better. 

Rinoa awoke, sun shining through the blinds onto her pale face. Her hair was a little messy, but it was nothing Rinoa couldn't fix. After all, she was now the girlfriend of Squall Leonheart, and just look at where she was.

In Squall's new bedroom up on the third floor. 

Well, this was lovely. Rinoa looked around, and noticed nothing had happened. Girls just know these things. 

Oh, yes, now she remembered! She had been in Squall's room, helping him with permanent records and the like, and then she decided to take a little nap. And so did Squall. That was it. Things like this always happened in the perfect little world of Squall and Rinoa. 

"So Rinoa, you busy today?" the blond instructor asked. 

"No, not really," Rinoa said, sipping her iced tea, "Why?"

"I thought maybe we could go to the mall with Selphie. You know, girl's day out."

"Mmm, sounds like fun."

Selphie nodded and bounced up and down in her seat across from Rinoa, "Yeah! It'll be super fun! We'll all go get our hair and nails done and then we'll go SHOPPING!"

Rinoa gave Selphie a funny look and Zell asked, "Did you get into the caffeine again?"

"No…"

Squall scooted in next to Rinoa, kissed her on the cheek and said, "Caffeine… that reminds me! Quistis, I need to see a couple of students."

"Why?" asked Quistis, mouth full of hot-dog.

"A few were caught shooting caffeine in the secret area."

"Shooting WHAT?" Rinoa said, almost appalled at what she heard.

Irvine slid into a seat next to Zell, smacked him upside the head for no reason at all, and said, "Caffeine. It's lots of fun actually. I mean it's like a natural high. You jus-"

Squall shot him a glare and said, "You've done it?"

"Well not recently."

Rinoa shrugged and said, "I never knew you could do such a thing."

Zell chewed a hot-dog thoughtfully and said, "That must be what Selphie's on."

Irvine smacked Zell again and said, "I TOLD you before, Selphie is just high on life."

"That's right Irvy!" Selphie approved. Irvine nodded to her and leaned back in his chair, pulling his hat down by his eyes. Apparently he was trying to catch up on his sleep. 

It was silent for a while until…

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYAKA!!!!!!"

Everyone jumped at the sound of the perky brunette's high-pitched voice. 

"I JUST GOT THE MOST AWESOME IDEA!"

Everyone looked at her, and she hushed and said, "We should all go CLUBBING tonight!"

It was arranged. The girls would go to the mall and the boys, well, they would most likely do stupid things like throw rocks off of the roof of the Garden and see how many people they could hit. That was what boys did. 

"Hey!" Irvine said, "I just had the most awesome idea!"

"What's that, Irvine?" Squall asked.

"While the girls are gone, we should go sit on the roof of the Garden and throw rocks and see how many people we could hit!"

"Top notch idea my good man!" Zell exclaimed. 

*

"Rinoa, I think Squall really likes you."

Rinoa looked up at the ceiling, anticipating this from both girls. Quistis gave a mini nod and said, "Yes, do tell Rinoa."

"Nothing's happening," Rinoa said bluntly. It was the truth, nothing really was happening between Squall and Rinoa. Quistis and Selphie weren't ready to believe it though. 

"Oh? Nothing?"

"Nothing interesting," Rinoa said, almost bored sounding. Quistis raised an eyebrow over to her spunky brunette partner in crime. 

"Tell us the uninteresting!" Selphie urged. 

"Yes! We want to know!" 

"Will you stop that?" Rinoa exclaimed at her friends. At the same time of her shriek, she had jerked her hand away from the manicurist and made a huge mess of her nails in the process. 

"My dear," the manicurist began, "If you don't hold still, we'll never get this done. Now I'll clean it up just this once, but if you do it again, you're on your own."

Rinoa shot glares at both of her friends, and noticing their innocent faces, was very annoyed. Nevertheless, she said, "I'll tell you later."

Later, at lunch Quistis slid into the booth next to Rinoa, pushing her over excitedly and saying, "So, Rinoa."

"So Quistis."

"So Selphie."

They laughed together at their stupid little joke. 

"Well tell us, Rinoa. What's going on with you and Squall?"

"I tol-"

"Can I take your order ladies?"

Three heads snapped in the direction of the one cute waiter. Noticing this, and being the only single one at the table, Quistis automatically began to untie her hair, letting it flow past her shoulders. She smiled up at the waiter and said smoothly, "I'd like a Pepsi please."

"P-Pepsi. And for you two?"

Rinoa and Selphie exchanged looks and then nodded and said, "Same."

"I'll have that right out for you."

"And-"

"Yes," the waiter said, trying to avoid Quistis's gaze. 

"I know what I would like to order."

"Go right ahead, miss."

"Oh, please, don't be so formal. My name's Quistis."

"Oh, well-"

"And I was wondering, if perhaps you would like to do something with me later on tonight," she finished, with a little smirk, knowing he would say yes. 

"He'd love to," Someone said from above the booth. Everyone looked up, only to see someone they hoped to never see again. 

"Seifer Almasy?" 

"Well if it isn't my favorite three ladies, Quistis, Selphie, and the ever-beautiful Rinoa Heartilly."

"Nice of you to come see us Seifer, really it is," Rinoa said, shooting an angry look up at Seifer.

"Well, I have this table, but I knew my friend Leon here couldn't resist three pretty girls, especially you Miss Trepe."

"Oh, thank you! I guess…" Quistis said, shocked at Seifer's last comment.  

"I'm ready to take over for you Leon. See you around," Seifer said, pushing Leon out of the way. 

"Now what did you want to eat?"

"Cheeseburger."

"Ditto."

Seifer nodded and jotted it down, then looked at Quistis.

"You, my dear lady?"

Quistis paused and said, "It seems as though you've learned some manners over a few months, Almasy."

"Well you've certainly gotten prettier."

Rinoa and Selphie sat in absolute astonishment. Quistis wouldn't dare… would she?

"Really, you have."

"Oh, Seifer," Quistis said, blushing furiously. She played with a strand of strawberry blonde hair. 

"Would you like to do something later Seifer?"

Rinoa and Selphie sat, shocked at Quistis's last remark. Seifer? He's the enemy; he's always been the enemy! Why?

"I'd love to, but only because you're such a pretty girl. Now what was that you wanted?"

"What do you recommend?"

"Just get a cheeseburger. Easier for me."

"Okay," Quistis said, smiling (and still blushing I might add). Seifer took the menus and said, "I'll see you later, Quisty." 

Which caused her to blush even harder. Now she was a deep scarlet, and began to giggle as soon as he went to the back. Rinoa lightly smacked the back of her head, and asked, "Now what was that for?"

Quistis managed to contain herself and said, "He was cute."

"HE'S THE ENEMY!" Selphie half-shrieked. Quistis giggled some more and then said, "He's cute, and he's a gentleman now. Didn't you see him?"

Rinoa nodded at Selphie and said, "I don't think he was ever really the enemy. He was possessed, Selphie. It wasn't him."

"Don't do it Quistis!" Selphie squeaked, "He'll kill you!"

Quistis shot back a glare at Selphie and said, "Stop being so immature. He's not going to kill me. He's changed, and even Rinoa can see it. Right Rinoa?"

Rinoa nodded, albeit uneasily, and then stared down into the coke Seifer had just brought over. 

Selphie turned bright red and bit her bottom lip to refrain from screaming. 

Quistis noticed this sign of silence, telling her to say something to break it. 

"Rinoa, how's Squall? You said you would tell us."

Rinoa nodded and said, "He's good. I mean, nothing's happening."

"I bet it's nothing," Selphie said, trying to contain her laughter, "You're never in your own dorm anymore."

"Oh Rinoa, is he really that great?"

"No! I haven't done anything with him!"

Quistis and Selphie exchanged looks again. 

"Not even-"

"Not even whatever you were going to say. He refuses to go anywhere."


	3. 

Chapter 2

"So Seifer, what did you do with your life?"

Seifer took a sip of his drink and adjusted his arm around Quistis. His arm had been there the entire dinner, and he had recently let go of his grip on her hand. It was as if he needed her to prove that he had changed. Quistis saw that, and everyone else had come to the slow realization that he had. After a few drinks, even Squall had. Seifer was one of the group now, something he hadn't been in a long time. 

Rinoa noticed that he kept sneaking little looks across the table at her, glancing away and pretending as though he wasn't ever looking at her whenever she caught him. Then he would turn back and give her his classic little cocky half-smile, and she would blush a bit. This went on during the whole dinner, through which Squall lightened up. 

Even Selphie, who was stubborn at lunch, had changed her view towards him over a couple of hours. 

Everyone had been drinking though, and perhaps that was why they seemed to like him.

Everyone but Rinoa had been drinking. Rinoa was pure, as always. She was constantly making sure that no alcohol ever touched her soft pale lips, fearing that she might become intoxicated with just one sip. 

For some reason, just now she let go.

Everyone else seemed to, so she had some white wine. It matched her skin, whitest of white. Seifer nodded at her and stood up, slapping a twenty down on the table. He placed a cold hand on Quistis's shoulder, and whispered something in her ear. She nodded and took another sip of her red wine. 

Rinoa excused herself and followed Seifer out the door, although she tried to be less obvious about leaving. It didn't matter, because no one would've noticed that she had left.

I'd walked casually up to Seifer, rubbing my shoulder as I went by. I remember bumping against a door, leaving a pink mark on my shoulder. I carefully walked behind him and then stood next to him. 

We were leaning against a ledge overlooking the Balamb shore, his coat blowing gently in the wind. I traced the cross on his arm in my mind, remembering that one summer.

Less happened in that summer then had happened with Squall, surprisingly. I never really talked about it with anyone. All I could ever remember was how gentle Seifer was with me. He would never make me feel uncomfortable in any way whatsoever. 

There were times when Squall made me feel very uncomfortable, but I could never tell him. That was just the way Squall was, and I would try not to worry about it. 

At the time, I'd stopped and looked up and Seifer, who was inhaling the sea breeze deeply. I was guessing that we were the only sober ones in the group. We still had a long night of partying ahead of us.

Seifer looked down at me, probably anticipating me to say something about his past rebellion against us.

I wouldn't. I held myself from it, and silence followed. 

It was a calming moment in time, myself and Seifer Almasy gazing out onto the sea. One might think we were a couple if they didn't know better. Finally he said something to break the moment. 

"Remember when you were sixteen?"

I looked up at him again, curiously.

"I was just thinking that."

Something happened just then. It wasn't exactly awkward, just a nice pause. The first moment I ever realized his eyes were green. 

"Seifer… you have green eyes."

He laughed and then grabbed my hand on instinct. 

This wasn't the way it was supposed to be, I can now remember thinking. It's to be Squall and Rinoa, not Seifer and Rinoa. If it were, it would've worked out before. 

I couldn't yank my hand away… it felt as if it had belonged there. I didn't know what I wanted then. I was happy for a second, and then…

Seifer let go. 

"You're Squall's girl now. I'm sorry," he said, turning back to the dark water. I slowly turned back too, for some reason I was expecting more to have happened. 

In a true love story, I would've leaned up to kiss Seifer, and Squall would run out of the restaurant to find me in his rival's arms. Squall would be furious and would push Seifer off of me, and demand an explanation. I would have to then choose between the rebel and the knight. 

This obviously wasn't a real love story, and I the only choice I had to make, was whether or not to turn back towards the waves crashing heavily on the shore. 

Squall wandered out of the restaurant, and didn't really bother to wander around the docks to look for Rinoa. He wandered around the parking lot, looking for his silver Spyder. Rinoa looked over at him with a little half smile, standing about six feet in front of him. He didn't notice her and continued to walk along the parking lot, in a dream-like state. He seemed to be walking away from Rinoa and away from his heart. She pressed her pale lips tighter together and fixed her gaze upon the ground as she turned back to the water. 

It was vast and dark, lights dancing across it heading to the moon in the center, but never making it. Seifer tapped his cigarette against the railing and the water rippled, but the lights stayed in the water, rippling right along. Rinoa's reflection faded when the water rippled, partly because she had turned away from the water and was staring at Seifer.

Seifer, with his blonde hair smoothed back. His green eyes dark and shiny once filled with so much pain seemed so much gentler. His cold gloved hands holding a cigarette to his own pale lips and blowing out a perfect gray cloud of smoke that floated out in front of him and blew away in the wind. He looked down at Rinoa, noticing her gaze, and pulled the pack out of his pocket.

"Want a smoke?"

She shook her head and turned back to the water. He leaned back against the rail, throwing the cigarette into the water causing it to ripple again. 

"Always the pure one, weren't you?" he asked sweetly. She looked up at him and thought that had it been anyone else who said that, she might've smacked them or stormed away. 

There was something about Seifer though. It seemed like this was the way he had conversations. 

"Yeah, but you already knew the answer to that anyway."

He gave a flash of his cocky half-smile to Rinoa and said, "Well you had something alcoholic tonight. First drink?"

She nodded and blushed, feeling somewhat too pure for her own good. He turned out into the water and asked, "What's it feel like?"

"What?"

"To be so pure for so long, and then finally get your first taste of sin?"

Rinoa suddenly wasn't sure she wanted to continue talking to Seifer, and turned around looking out to where Squall was, but couldn't see him anywhere. She sighed and leaned back against the railing, thinking that she might be able to take Seifer's questions for a little while longer. 

"Well it was only one glass that I didn't even finish, and it was just white wine."

"It tastes like something though, and I'll never taste it."

"It tastes like grapes and smells like poison and it makes me dizzy and happy at the same time."

Seifer laughed a little and said, "That's what the white stuff will do."

"When'd you start?"

"Start what?"

"Smoking," Rinoa said, crossing her arms across her chest. Seifer took in a deep breath and said, "After I couldn't go back to garden."

He got up off of the railing and began to walk down the abandoned boardwalk. Rinoa ran after him and then finally caught up. 

"How old were you when you-"

"When I tasted sin?" he laughed and continued, "I was way younger than you. 15."

She stared up in amazement and said, "But you were at garden, under strict… but Seifer, that's impossible."

"It wasn't for me."

"How?" she asked in disbelief. 

"I snuck out and went to clubs in the middle of the night, and I'd cross the bridge to Dollet as soon as I could drive. Sometimes I would take little vacations from school and go to a hotel and party for a few days and then go back to class."

"Did you ever show up-"

"Drunk?"

Rinoa nodded and Seifer sighed and said, "Once, and the next day I thought that it would look suspicious if I ever did it again, so I had to come to class sober. As I got older I started drinking less because I would have to drive back to garden the same night and I was smart enough to know that I shouldn't be inebriated while driving."

"Did you ever got to class stoned?"

Seifer laughed and said, "I wasn't a druggie. I didn't even smoke then. I never thought drugs were that great unless I was already at a club and had a couple drinks. Then I thought that E and angel dust were the greatest inventions. I only took the truly dangerous drugs, just not the ones I had to shoot."

Rinoa stared up in shock but couldn't find any words except, "I'm cold."

Seifer smiled and took off his trench coat and handed it to her. She looked up at him, half expecting him to snatch it back, but he didn't look like he was about to. 

She doubted it all, putting on another man's coat when she was already with Squall. It was only a coat though… and she was so far away from the parking lot where she last saw Squall, he would never know. Besides, he didn't seem to be too interested in finding her when she saw him in the parking lot. Suddenly full of a different confidence, Rinoa threw the coat over her shoulders and felt taken in by the mixed scent of smoke and cologne. She hugged it around her and tried to keep up with Seifer. 

Seifer finally looked down at Rinoa and said, "I used to see you as a star you know."

Rinoa looked up and asked, "What made you think of that?"

It was a starless night; only the moon shining down onto the sea and the streetlights provided any light for the two to see each other.  Seifer continued, "Well, I just used to think you were so light and happy, and so white you looked like a star. I used to think that you shined more than any other star in the sky, in my sky," he said, giving her a little smile, "but now that I realize it, you never shined in your own sky."

Rinoa looked up at him curiously and he continued, "Maybe tonight is your night to shine."

He looked so full of confidence as he walked. He held his head high, and kept his hands in his pockets even though they were gloved. Rinoa had to skip a little to keep up with his long steady strides. 

"Would you help me?"

"Help you shine?"

She nodded and he stopped and turned towards her. He began to move his face down towards hers, and then turned to the side and reached for the right pocket of his coat. 

Rinoa let out a deep breath and looked down at Seifer picking through his coat pockets. All along she thought he still…

Seifer finally came back up holding out a red silk bag and said, "I was going to give this to Quistis, but she doesn't need it tonight. She's already a rock star siren without it."

Rinoa clutched it as though it contained all of the world's biggest secrets. She looked as if she were a little girl wearing Seifer's coat and clutching that bag. Rinoa turned to Seifer and asked, "What is it?"

Seifer laughed and said, "Don't worry, it's not pot."

Rinoa laughed along with him and then said, "Seriously though."

"Seriously? It's just little things that can turn you into someone else. Even if it's just for tonight."

Rinoa smiled and thought about the possibilities that this bag could contain. It was almost as if it was her Pandora's box, and opening it would let out all sorts of evils… but some good would come from it. 

Even if it's just for tonight. 

They were back at the parking lot, and she suddenly felt Seifer's hands reach down to her shoulders, pulling the coat off and throwing it around his. It was a perfect fit on him. 

He leaned down by Rinoa's ear and said, "Don't tell anyone. It's between you and I, just like old times."

Rinoa nodded and Seifer motioned to the restaurant, where their friends were emerging. Squall seemed to appear out of the darkness, wandering up to Rinoa. Seifer walked to his car and said, "See you at the club."

Rinoa nodded, and noticed she was still clutching the red bag carefully. Squall walked up to her and smiled as he said, "Hi sweetheart."

Rinoa responded lightly, the words so soft Squall could barely hear them. He opened the car and said, "Could you get a ride with Selphie and Irvine? I'm done for the night."

Rinoa nodded. Squall turned back towards her and asked, "Are you sure you're going to be alright?"

She nodded again and said, "Love you."

He smiled, kissed her forehead, and got in the car. Rinoa backed away and headed towards Selphie's car. 

Selphie pulled Irvine's arm off of her shoulders as Rinoa approached and said, "Need a ride?"

Seifer and Quistis sped past the group in a blur of silver, honking like mad and waving. They both looked so happy sitting together as they drove away…

"Hello? Rinoa?"

Rinoa turned back to Selphie and said, "Yeah, I'll have a ride. Thanks."

She opened the door to the back seat and Irvine said, "No, no. You get the front."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, it's fine," Irvine said, and opened up the door for her. She said happily, "Thank you, it's very nice of you, Irvine."

Irvine smiled and said, "It's nothing."

Selphie pulled out and rolled down the window, letting Irvine stick his head in. 

"You going to get in the back or not?"

He shook his head and replied, "I have a ride."

"You do?"

"Yeah, I'll just go with Zell and Audrey."

Zell looked kind of pissed off in the background, thinking maybe he'd have some privacy with his beloved library girl, but Irvine just HAD to come."

Irvine smiled and said, "See you at the club."

Selphie leaned out the window, kissed him lightly, pulled back and drove away. Selphie smiled over at Rinoa and turned on the radio, blasting a poppy song as they sped down the busy streets of Balamb. 

"You okay, Rinoa?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

"You just seem… I don't know, kind of dazed."

Rinoa smiled and said, "No, I'm fine."

Selphie turned down the music a little bit. Rinoa decided to bring up a little conversation.

"Irvine's quite the gentleman."

Selphie smiled and said, "Yeah, isn't he great? I wouldn't change anything about us."

"Nothing?"

"Well, I wish he only had eyes for me… but he's getting better with that, really he is!"

"I believe you Selphie," Rinoa said, trying to comfort her friend. 

That's how love should be, she thought. Nothing should be wrong, just little things that can be changed. 

Selphie noticed the distressed look on Rinoa's face and asked, "Is anything wrong with Squall?"

Rinoa shook her head and said, "No, nothing's wrong with Squall. I'm fine Selphie, really I am. Just a little tired."

Selphie nodded and turned up the music. Rinoa looked over at her, finally noticing how pretty Selphie really was. It's hard to notice at first, but her brown hair was only slightly out of place, and blew a little bit in the wind coming in through the window. She took in short little breaths and had green eyes that shimmered in the neon signs they passed. Her skin was an almost perfect shade, and seemed so much darker compared to Rinoa's.

It seemed obvious now why Irvine loved her. Rinoa looked at her own reflection in the window. She was ghost white with no makeup and shiny black hair. That was Rinoa's complete description. 

She looked down at the bag on her lap and Seifer's words flooded back to her. 

It can turn you into someone else… even if it's just for tonight.


	4. 

Chapter 3

Selphie pulled over and threw Rinoa the clothes she'd bought for the club that day at the mall. 

"We're almost at the club."

Selphie turned away from Rinoa and began to change. Rinoa pulled off her dress and looked down at her snow-white body, and over at Selphie's freckled back. She would die if she knew she would awaken and look like that. 

She pulled on the blue halter and searched through the bag and found the skirt she bought, a little black miniskirt. She threw it back in the bag and pulled out the black pants she had bought. She opened up her purse and threw glitter on them, and then pulled them on. 

They made her look tall and slim, the dark blue halter perfect against her skin. Selphie turned back around wearing a pink sequined sleeveless top that showed off her flat stomach and white glittery pants. She smiled at Rinoa. 

"Ready?"

"Go."

Selphie pulled out and began to speed down the streets of Balamb. Everything flew by in a rush of neon and sequins. Music already pulsed down Rinoa's spine and she closed her eyes and took in everything, even though she couldn't see it. 

Selphie pulled into the parking lot between Zell and Seifer's cars and nodded at Rinoa. Rinoa smiled confidently and opened the car door, slinging her purse over her shoulder. The red bag fell off of her lap and she reached back in to grab it. She hesitated slightly, and then reached for it, slipping it into her purse. 

Selphie and Rinoa walked in, seemingly taller and more confident then at dinner, as if they came across some beautiful secret while they were traveling to the club. 

It isn't hard to get into a club when you're tall, slim, and gorgeous, as Rinoa and Selphie had noticed. They got in no problem and ran over to the rest of the group. Quistis had already changed, and Audrey looked awesome too. She had apparently also brought clubbing clothes. 

Selphie was dancing around Irvine, taking his hat and running away with it, Zell and Audrey were out at a little booth talking and Quistis and Seifer were…

Seifer had his arm around Quistis who was sipping on a martini and giggling. Quistis was intoxicated in more ways than one obviously. Seifer whispered something in Quistis's ear. She giggled and nodded. He pulled her over to the dance floor as she put the martini on Zell and Audrey's table. 

Seifer pulled her past Rinoa and leaned down by Rinoa's ear and said, "Now's the time. You pick who you want to be."

Rinoa knew what he was talking about and opened her purse, pulling out the red bag. She headed for the bathroom, took a stall and locked it. 

She brought her knees up on the seat and sat there, no one seeming to care she was in there. No one even knew. 

She brought the bag up to her face and smelled it. It didn't have the same smoky-cologne smell as Seifer's jacket, surprisingly. It was a much more dizzying scent that Rinoa wanted to take in all at once, and at the same time she wanted to leave the bag abandoned in the stall for someone else to find. 

Infatuated with the flowery smell of the bag, she opened it only to reveal the makeup of the gods. It wasn't in cute little compartments, but in tubes and little cases that resembled where paints once sat. 

The only way Rinoa could tell it was makeup was the fact that it had a certain resemblance to cutesy packaged makeup, but this was so much more meaningful somehow. 

There seemed to be a million tubes and cases, proving Seifer's point further. She could be whoever she wanted to be. She pulled out light pink eye shadow and smudged it across her eye with her finger, spreading thick glitter all over and around her eye. She pulled out fake eyelashes, and pressed fake rhinestones on them before putting them over her already shimmering eyes. Then she underlined her eyes in silver, putting rhinestones over by the corners of her eyes. 

Now that the eyes were done, she headed down to her lips, which she painted a deep, dark purple. It didn't suit her at all… but then she was someone completely new now. 

She topped everything off by pulling out the jasmine scented oil at the very bottom of the bag, which she put on. She looked in the mirror, seeing a completely different person. 

Already high with the poison jasmine scent, she dropped the contents of her purse all over the stall floor. She bent down to pick them up and threw them back in her purse. Glitter, hand soap…

a charm bracelet?

It wasn't there before, but she now picked it up and pulled it on. Little stars danced together on the chain, hitting each other and chiming lightly every time they hit. She shook it a few times, and remembered Seifer leaning down by her ear… dropping something into her slightly open purse…

She smiled confidently and headed out of the stall. As she passed the row of full mirrors, Rinoa wasn't herself anymore. For once, she was completely satisfied with the way she looked. Just right now, she didn't look or feel like herself. 

Even if it was just for one night. 

Rinoa coughed into her hand and sniffed it casually. She blinked twice and tossed a mint into her mouth as she strolled out of the restrooms. 

This was the first day of the rest of her life. 

Bright pink poison lights poured down on her, illuminating the dance floor and the people smashing and stomping on top of it, bodies occasionally hitting the floor only to stand back up and continue to push against the ones next to them. On the dance floor, no one knew who you were. You were a different person out there; no one had ever met you. The couples had moved to the side and were sitting at high-seated tables with their first and last drink of the night on top. 

Rinoa pressed through the tables with couples tattooed on the seats. She moved quickly and carefully, not wanting to disturb their conversations of how everyone out on the floor pushed so roughly against each other. 

Those couples would go home after one drink, and later their own bodies would push just as roughly against each other in a sequence of love and devotion and happiness. They would still love. 

It was something Rinoa afraid of, not that she would ever admit it. Squall would worry and break everything off. She stopped in her tracks, her eyes blank and empty, reflecting the entire club atmosphere off of them. Nothing stayed in her eyes anymore. 

An instant jingle of the stars hitting their metal outsides against each other woke her from the trance. 

_You aren't afraid to love. You're not the girl you thought you were. _

She pushed through the couples tables, rocking chairs, tables, and drinks. Pursing her purple lips together, she ran a long perfect fingernail over her black, thick eyelashes. 

Seifer was chatting it up with Quistis, knocking glasses with her and downing shot after shot of who knows what substance. It went straight to Quistis's brain, taking over all of her thoughts and putting her in a vulnerable position. Seifer could do anything to her now if he wanted to. Quistis could no longer think for herself. Not with all of the alcohol controlling every thought that entered her mind and pushing out any thoughts that might convince her to stop everything and leave. 

Seifer's drinks seemed to go through the air, as if he hadn't even taken them in the first place. 

Then Rinoa showed up and Seifer's attention seemed to turn elsewhere. Quistis didn't notice, because she was too intoxicated. Temptation, lust, it all overtook Seifer as he stared at Rinoa. Last time was just puppy love, just a crazy little fling you share when you're seventeen. This time he fell, hard, and it wasn't just a crazy little fling anymore. 

He managed to snap himself out of it for a few seconds

_She's with Squall now._

He turned back to Quistis to see her taking down yet another shot, and then glanced over at Rinoa heading towards them again. 

_But he's a goddamn lucky bastard. _

The night was full of margaritas and neon club drinks, ordered every hour. Shots all around the table were frequent, and Rinoa found herself relaxing with every drink she downed. Her purple lipstick stained every glass her lips found, and she kept reapplying so that she could continue to claim the drinks for herself. 

Every time she sipped, her body relaxed more and more. Everytime she grabbed another drink, she wanted more. She kept wanting more and more, and she was never going to give up. 

Irvine and Selphie joined Quistis, Seifer, and Rinoa at the tall bar table occasionally. They were drenched in sweat and lust, or it could've been love. Love for the night, love for the moment, and love for each other. Zell and Audrey had left earlier. 

Rinoa admired the souls out on the floor and watched them lustfully. She was wishing that she could be so bold to dance and drench herself in their sweat and join in their ritual. 

"Hey Rinoa," Quistis said. Rinoa turned her attention over to the girl in red. Quistis gave Rinoa an intoxicated smile and asked, "Wanna dance?"

Rinoa nodded and hopped off of the barstool. Quistis grabbed her hand and pulled her out onto the disco light floor.   
She'd never danced before, but as soon as she was out there she felt the music enter her body and go straight to her soul, pounding on her nerves to make her move to the beat. 

Quistis was all over everyone, not just Rinoa. Rinoa wasn't over anyone but herself. She had enough to concentrate on, because nothing made sense. 

It was the combination of alcohol and music that had her high on everything that night. She wouldn't discover that until later. 

Quistis started on Rinoa, grabbing Rinoa's shoulder and pressing her chest against her. Rinoa swung her head around, letting her night hair whip against the bare backs of leather clad strangers. 

Quistis began to grind against Rinoa; her leather black pants brushing against Rinoa's plain black ones. Quistis closed her eyes and let the alcohol take over. She felt the music inside of her and moved towards Rinoa to it. Her hair was clinging to her rose face and sweat rolled down her arms and splashed on the floor. 

Rinoa let Quistis keep grinding against her, enjoying the presence of the older girl and the atmosphere of her strawberry blonde bun sticking to the back of her neck. 

Seifer moved out onto the floor, trench coat abandoned. He pulled Rinoa away from Quistis, who didn't seem to notice Rinoa was gone. 

Rinoa closed her eyes and felt around for Seifer's arms, pulling him down near her. She began to grind against him instead of Quistis, feeling as though it was the same thing. 

He grabbed Rinoa's arm and said, "Rinoa, you need to get home."

Rinoa's eyes opened as though she was waking from a long sleep. Seifer dragged her off of the dance floor and right out the door of the club. 

Outside it was cool, a breeze floating over the group and seducing Quistis into a long sleep. She rested in Irvine's arms as the group walked to the cars. Irvine opened the backdoor to Selphie's car and put Quistis in the backseat. 

"God, I hope she doesn't puke in my car," Selphie said nervously as she hopped in the driver's seat. Irvine looked over to Rinoa and said, "Sorry, 'Noa, there's no more room."

"I can take you home," Seifer offered. 

"Are you sure?" Rinoa asked, politely. Seifer nodded and continued, "It'll take me a little longer, but yeah, I can take you."

"Thanks," Rinoa mumbled as she got into the passenger side of Seifer's car. Irvine tipped his hat at Rinoa and got into the passenger side of Selphie's car. They drove away, Selphie looking nervous about driving a drunk Quisty home. 

Rinoa smiled towards Seifer, who was starting the car up. The ride home was long and mostly quiet.

Seifer seemed to be a different guy. As he drove he listened to a slow acoustic band and sang softly along. It didn't seem to fit a guy like him. Rinoa tried to sleep in the passenger seat, but found it most uncomfortable. She finally asked Seifer, "Who is this?"

"Who is what?"

"This band."

Seifer smiled and said, "Death Cab for Cutie. Makes me kind of happy."

"Makes me kind of sleepy."

"Nah, just this song," Seifer said. Rinoa smiled and he glanced over at her and said, "We can do this again sometime."  

Rinoa thought about it before saying, "I'd like that."

She turned to Seifer and smiled. He smiled back, falling into her dark brown eyes before he turned back to the road. 

Seifer walked Rinoa to Squall's dorm. He knocked on the door. Squall opened it, wearing only his black pants and boots. Seifer nodded at him and said, "Sup man? Brought your girl back home, safe and sound."

He gave Rinoa a little push towards Squall. He then flung his trench coat over his shoulder and turned around as he said, "Tell Rinoa to call me. Later."

Squall held Rinoa in his arms and brought her over to the couch. Rinoa laid on top of him for a while before she said, "Squall, I love you."

"I love you too, Rinny," Squall said, a bit surprised. 

"Which is why," Rinoa said, the alcohol showing in her voice, "I think we should take our relationship to the next level."

Squall sat up, causing Rinoa to fall back onto her knees. 

"Why?" asked Squall, a bit alarmed. Rinoa explained, "Because I love you."

"That's no reason to do anything," Squall said, "And besides, you're drunk."

"Don't you love me?"

"Yes," Squall, sighed, "But you're drunk, I don't want to take advantage of you. That's not love."

Rinoa looked him over and then said, "Squall, you won't be taking advantage of me."

"What if… something happens?"

"I always wanted a little girl. If I get one out of this, I'll be so very happy because she's yours and mine."

Squall's eyes drifted to the floor and then back up at Rinoa. 

"Okay, Rin, but only if you're sure."


	5. 

Chapter Four

The sun rose through the faded white curtains over Rinoa's pale body. She blinked open her eyes and squinted in the bright yellow light floating through the room. Looking around her, the sheets wrinkled up and pushed around her in a perfect circle, an imprint of her body left as she sat up. Her eyes grew wide as she whispered, "Shit. 

She got up quietly, trying to wrap herself in the sheet without waking Squall. No, that wasn't going to work. She got up, grabbed her clothes and ran to the bathroom to put them on. 

The worst part about all of this was she knew it wasn't forced on her. She was the one who forced it on Squall. She'd never go out drinking again. 

The clanging of the little stars on the charm bracelet stopped her. It fell out of her pocket onto the floor. She kneeled down to pick it up. Rinoa ran her long white fingers over it, listening to the chiming noise it made, the hollow silver stars hitting each other. 

Standing back up, Rinoa slipped on the bracelet and climbed out the window of the bathroom. She'd see Squall at breakfast, no doubt.

Her room was like a sanctuary over the next week, where she'd lie on her bed for hours and cry. 

Today, however, she sat up and thought about how important is was to her. It obviously wasn't important to anyone else. I bet even Selphie had lost it and didn't go ballistic. Time to go out and do something. 

Rinoa hopped off of her bed and brushed herself off. She looked okay for someone who had been a hermit for a week. 

_You will continue being Rinoa._

The spell was broken. After all, it was only one night. Rinoa strolled around the Garden, heading down to the parking lot. She said hi to everyone she knew who passed her in the hall and even stopped to talk with Zell for a few minutes, agreeing to meet him for coffee at the mall. 

It seemed weird how they had all grown up so fast. Zell was even drinking coffee now. A year ago, he'd have puked if he drank the stuff. Now he was walking to class professionally, wearing the uniform, doing everything required of him. 

People change. That was quite obvious in many cases. Zell had become more mature, Selphie and Irvine became a wonderful couple, Quistis learned how to have fun, Squall wasn't as much of a loner, and Seifer had become a nice guy… 

What about Rinoa? She hadn't changed so much. She was still the same perky, happy, sweet Rinoa everyone always knew and hopefully always loved. 

At least, that's what she thought. 

Right as she turned the corner to head into the parking lot, she ran right into Squall. She backed up a few steps and looked up at him. 

Squall was tired. Grey circles surrounded his eyes and he was only slightly unshaven, his hair a mess. He looked down at Rinoa and said, "Hi Rinoa."

Rinoa looked down at the floor and said, "Hi."

Squall looked around a little before saying, "Seifer asked you to call him."

With that, he handed her a little piece of paper and said, "See you around."

Rinoa was suddenly embarrassed. She was positive her face was a bright red, and at the same time she wanted to cry. She quickened her pace and headed to the parking lot. 

Once in the parking lot, she picked out any car and pulled out of the Garden. As soon as she was out in the bright sun, she started to cry. There wasn't any makeup left on her face, because she'd cried all of the mascara out earlier that week. It left little gray trails down her face, which she'd wiped off before she left. 

She'd pretend to still be on okay terms with him, for everyone else's sake and her own sanity. 

What terms were they on, anyway? With the way they were both acting, it was obviously not so good. Maybe it was just Rinoa acting this way. 

She pulled up to the mall parking lot and sat back in her seat, staring at the clock. It was two twenty two. 

A memory suddenly flooded back to her from when she was younger. She knew a boy named Tom, who she had a mad crush on. They'd run around in the sun and talk all the time. 

One day, as they were walking through the mall in Deling and talking, they came across a digital clock that read three thirty three. Tom pointed up at it and said, "Three thirty three, make a wish."

"Why?" Rinoa had asked. 

"Because all of the numbers on the clock are the same. Make a wish."

She didn't wish it out loud, but wished for Tom. 

To think that was only six years ago. She had seemed so young. At the time, she once thought that if she couldn't have Tom, she couldn't have anyone else. It was the only guy she cared about. Then things didn't turn out and she ended up losing a friend and her heart. Until she met Seifer…

Two twenty two make a wish, she thought. The charms on her bracelet bounced together and she thought to herself, I wish that everything would work itself out so that everything turns out well.

The clock changed suddenly and she sighed as she opened the car door and got out. 

There was no real reason she was at the mall. There was always something to do here, and it brought back so many memories of her and Selphie and sometimes Quistis walking through the shops, trying on dresses, acting like the teenagers they were. 

It also reminded her of school, which she had sadly dropped. High school seemed to be so pointless, just one huge popularity contest. Such is life, she thought, but she didn't know that then.   
Rinoa started out as one of the popular kids. Her beauty seemed to get her everywhere. Then the rumors started leaking out. She was called a slut, a whore, and a million other things too painful to recall. 

The worst part was she was none of those things. She'd never even had her first kiss yet. That would have to wait until she dropped school and met Seifer. Now she wished she'd completed it, or tried to wait it out. Look where dropping out landed her though. She was in a Garden, popular, and practically married to the commander… well, at least she was. 

The mall was full of people walking in groups, taking up space. The little things seemed to irritate her today, people walking in groups, people who walked too slowly. It was as if Rinoa put forth too much effort walking around them, because it annoyed her so much. 

She wandered past the CD store, and then backed up and went into it. She wandered over to the D section and flipped through the CDs until she found it, and bought it with no hesitation. 

Two forty five, time to meet Zell. 

Walking into the coffee shop, she saw Zell was early. He was sitting alone at a high table for two, drinking a cappuccino. As she walked in, he smiled at her and kicked out her chair. 

"Hello, Rinoa," he said politely, "Doing some shopping I see?"

"Not so much," she responded happily, "Just window shopping mostly."

"Ah," he said, drinking down the caffeine. Rinoa sat back in her chair and began to break apart chocolate biscotti. 

"Squall told me things weren't so great between you two," he said casually. Dammit, Rinoa thought, Squall told Zell. 

"How much did he tell you?" Rinoa asked, hoping nothing more than that was out. 

"Oh, just that," Zell replied. Rinoa sighed and said, "Thank Hyne."

"Why, what happened?" Zell asked, suddenly alarmed. Rinoa sighed again and said, "I was drunk."

"I knew that."

"And we uh…"

Zell waited for a response from Rinoa, but she just rolled her eyes a little bit. 

"Oh!" Zell exclaimed. Rinoa nodded. Zell quickly said, "Well, I can understand that."

"Has it happened to you?"

"Millions of times."

Rinoa gave him a weird look and he explained, "Well, uh, one night stands and stuff…"

"Oh, okay," Rinoa said, putting the biscotti down. Zell quickly set his hand down over Rinoa's. She looked up into his sky blue eyes. They were nothing you could drown in, because they were so blue, but they were pretty nonetheless. 

"Have you checked?" he asked seriously. 

"Checked what?" Rinoa asked back into his eyes. Zell whispered, "The P word."

Rinoa's eyes widened and Zell looked into them as they widened. The truth was, Rinoa hadn't even thought of that. It never occurred to her that she could be pregnant.

Zell said softly, "I can get one of those tests with you."

"Oh Zell," she said, afraid she was going to break down right in the middle of the coffee shop. Zell grabbed her hand tighter and said, "Come on, I took a train. I'll drive you to a drugstore, we'll get one of those test things, and then everything will turn out okay, right?"

Rinoa nodded, feeling the back of her throat close up. 

It wasn't embarrassing to cry in front of Zell. She sat in her Garden car and cried, wiping mascara off of her cheeks, but not from around her eyes, which turned as black as her pupils in the middle of the brown paint of her eyes. 

Her face was a pink, and her arms were soaked with tears and she was getting her CD soaked too, which Zell kindly played to calm her down a little bit. As they neared the drug store, Rinoa attempted to wipe away all of the residue from her makeup on her face, but Zell stopped her and said, "I'll go get it, don't worry about it."

Rinoa nodded and listened to Death Cab for Cutie until Zell came back. She had pretty much stopped crying by then and asked Zell, "Do you have a cell phone?"

"Yeah," he said, pulling it out of his pocket and handing it to Rinoa, "Who you gonna call?"

"Seifer," she said, dialing the number on the paper Squall had given her. Seifer wasn't home, and she left a message on his machine with her dorm number and phone number. As she hung up, Zell said, "You still like him, don't you?"

"He's a good friend," she explained, and then began to wonder if she was covering herself. I mean, she was supposed to like Squall, because he was her boyfriend and she could be holding his kid right now. The idea of liking Seifer was completely taboo. 

Zell pulled into the Garden parking lot and stopped the car. They sat back in their seats until Zell asked, "Should I tell everyone else?"

Rinoa nodded and said, "Have them meet in my dorm. We can have a Rinoa's Test party."

Zell laughed and they got out of the car. 

Ten minutes later, Rinoa got a call from Zell. 

"Hello?" she asked. 

"Hey, it's me," Zell said. 

"Hey. Are they coming?"

"No, everyone's out. Quistis should be coming any second now, though."

"Okay."

"Bye."

"Bye."

Just as Rinoa was hanging up the phone, Quistis knocked on her door. Rinoa ran towards it. She opened it and Quistis fell on her, draping her arms around her neck and saying, "I came as soon as I could."

"You're the only one," Rinoa said, hugging Quistis back. Quistis began to cry a bit on Rinoa's blue covered shoulder. She patted her back and drew back a couple of steps, picking up her bag and heading into Rinoa's dorm. Rinoa drew out the test and headed into the bathroom. 

"Okay, this is it," Rinoa said, walking into the bathroom. Quistis nodded and began to cry a little harder. Rinoa closed the door behind her and Quistis sat outside it. 

To think your friend might have to go through such a life-altering experience. It was almost scary. 

Rinoa wasn't even her best friend, though she wished she could be. Quistis never really had a best friend, although if she had to pick anyone it would be Rinoa. There was always something about Rinoa that made her happier than when she was around Selphie. Something different. 

The door creaked open a little bit and Quistis peeked in to see Rinoa sitting on the ground with her head in her hands. Quistis crawled in and asked, "Well?"

Rinoa pulled the test off of the counter and nodded. Quistis took one glance at the test and grabbed Rinoa's shoulders, hugging her close and tight. Rinoa cried against Quistis's blue vest, sobbing harder than she could ever remember. No makeup ran down Quistis's skirt, because Rinoa had cried it all off earlier.  
Quistis rubbed her friend's white arm and said comfortingly, "It'll be okay, Rinoa. It'll be okay."

Rinoa stopped sobbing a little bit and instead buried her face in Quistis's vest. Quistis stopped rubbing Rinoa's shoulder and said, "Oh hell, no it won't."

Quistis cried along with Rinoa, her tears running into Rinoa's midnight hair and mixing with Rinoa's to form a puddle on the ground.


End file.
